I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
