Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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