News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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