Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
