I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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