I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
