I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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