Just fell off a train. Bad.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
dude. I can hear the air.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
