it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
