I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it glows. i had to have it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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