Don't make out with my wife yet
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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