i permit you to call me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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