meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Randomize
