Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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