I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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