Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize