he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
