Fine. I'll sleep in my office
4 words: hood of his car
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
