Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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