dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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