It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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