yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
