so explain again why im purple
no
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just gift wrapped bread.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
