he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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