So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
