We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
