In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
