That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
