is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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