Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
