she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
