He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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