i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
