did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
