So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
