Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize