tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
