I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
