also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize