you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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