I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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