My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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