I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
ttyl tear gas
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
