I'm drive I can fine osifer
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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