There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
