there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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