doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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