I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i was born a porn star she said
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
