He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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