Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
