Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
