i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize