a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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