He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
