Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
