my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
