Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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