you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
