Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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