it was like eating out sand paper
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
