that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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